Monday, September 28, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
"Instead of spending 6 months training under an IT company, for a job which they may cancel at any time, I prefer the hands-on education and experience I get on Farmville. The very, real feeling of physical labor and toiling on a virtual field is well, very real", says one student.
Farmville's growing popularity is due to the satisfaction of productive employment it provides to users and final year students without the need of getting off their beds in the morning. A tremendous surge of Indian users is attributed to the nation's long history of agriculture and its influence in time-old Bollywood movies and mythological folklore.
BJP leaders hail this as a positive turn of events as more and more youngsters interact with each other across the nation, speaking in terms of cows and cherry trees instead of iPods and evil coffee.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
The path to inner happiness lies in being happy with your own self and making everyone around you happy too. He who is selfish and cruel to others will never find contentment. He who takes the last slice of cake will forever be plagued by indigestion.
The joy of living is in bringing smiles to the faces of your friends and family. Spread joy. Spread sweet happiness. Wake up with a smile. Eat dinner with your family. Don’t waste too much time watching television. Brush your teeth twice a day.
Be selective with your friends as you are with your clothes. Do not allow every wayfarer into your life. They will only bring sadness. True happiness lies in having a close knit circle of understanding friends. Remember to trust them and to show them your love and respect for them. Never be afraid to tell them how you feel. Massage their feet and lick their fingers.
Read the works of fine authors such as Paulo Coelho and Shiv Khera. The essentials rules of successfully running your life are contained in their beautiful masterpieces. Do not worry if life hands you the shortest straw. It only means that God has something special planned for you! Self help books sell millions and millions of copies. Every second person in the world should be giddy with joy and contentment. “Self-help book” is an oxymoron.
Work honestly. Come back home to a loving family. Give your best to your boss and give all your love to your spouse and your beautiful children. Understand their problems and play with them. Be silly with them, make faces at them and be a part of their lives. Your life will overflow with mirth and hours spent in warm sunshine. The laughter of children is the purest, most unadulterated happiness in the world. Try the same with your boss. A new job is life’s way of asking you to refresh yourself.
Follow the 7 stars to success, or the 8 rules to happiness, or the 63 guidelines to inner peace. You will surely reach your destiny. Remember, God has put someone special in this world just for you. Remember, God loves you. Remember, man too is capable of loving and living joyously if he thinks from his heart more often.
Pass this to 20 people and God will answer all your wishes. He’s been bored lately and is looking for weird kinky things to do with his time. Hence, me. Hence, this. Pass this to 20 people or mad monkeys will come and steal your genitals and scratch your face.
You are what you want to be. You are what you think of. You are what you speak. You are where you stand. You are the first thing that you want to write on a piece of paper. You are what you make.
Your wish is the command. Like the planets and the stars, you bend your universe around you. Everything takes the shape you give it.
Accept the responsibility.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
A civilization constructed physically impossible and geometrically daunting tombs for their dead kings, displaying unparalleled artistic and engineering abilities. Stone boulders more than twice the size of any man are placed in a circle, with astronomical significance and remarkable constructional precision. A man walked on water and cured the sick, turned bread into wine. The son of God was among us. Tracking by stars, ancient mariners exchanged and traded, in volumes not known and languages not spoken anymore. Mongols swept through Asia and ruled the world, sparing only the then barbaric European tribes, unworthy of even conquest. An Alexander dreamed to unite the world, and conquered in a single line of battle-field genius. He read the Iliad every night and died at age 33. An empire invented democracy and brought civilization to Europe. Power led to megalomania and thus was the fall of the Roman Empire. A descendant of the Mongols conquered India and established a dynasty that would define prosperity and unbelievable riches. In a continent yet undiscovered, a civilization quietly foretold the end of the world would come. A man wrote plays of the world and its people, their lives and their aspirations. He is still not forgotten, even if his authenticity is questioned. Kings, without number, ruled over lands, rode and killed, conquered and reigned in fields and over lives uncounted. Letters were passed, from empire to empire, and diplomacy was created by a man whose name grew to define treachery and deceit. Explosions tore the land as man began to play with fire. Can you count the screams and shrieks that fell to the cannon since the invention of nitre? Boys shoveled coal into fires, and died of asphyxiation, but a train was made to move and distances grew smaller. Ships navigated across ancient seas, finding new lands and madmen eating one another. A man dreamed and wrote of a flying machine and submarines and barometers. His dreams were answered within a hundred years of his death. Evil men set hegemony over a factious group of rulers, looting and draining the Golden Bird till all was emptied. Inventors changed the world, and fought for their right to a better life. Religion and science divorced and never reconciled. Revolutionaries were propped by a vicious human reproductive system, to rise and shout and lead and die. Their voices were to resonate till long after. The world changed, sometimes gradually, sometimes abruptly. It was changed by a philosopher, it was changed by a warrior, it was changed by an artist, it was changed by an inventor with a thousand patents to his name. Man ruled his worlds with utmost control and utter chaos. The world plunged into war, a war to end all wars. Men were pushed down and made to apologise, then shot. Angry men stood back up, to fight again. The world fought again. Inventors, innocent and destructive, made new arms to help man kill his neighbor. As diplomacies grew to wet blanket this madness, borders were settled, the world slackened and sat down, in front of the TV.
The art of reproduction, safer and more indulgent, spawned millions who grew to billions. In the limbo between two ages, if there is another one ahead, man struggles for meaning and for purpose. Disillusion, depression, anxiety, workaholic, global warming, empowerment, equality, racism, white collar, glass ceiling, 9 to 5, stock crashes, prime lending and the fabulous lives of celebrities. The icebergs are melting. The ozone layer is vanishing. Tigers are becoming extinct.
We are on the verge of a global nervous breakdown.
This is 5000 years.
How much do we know? What are we worth?
Homo Erectus, with an under-developed brain and no television, thrived for 1.25 million years.