And...I'm It.

She tagged me. Hence. And also I had nothing to do at that very moment. Hence.

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.

Definitely the strangest first question in any tag I've ever seen!

For purely entertainment purposes [Yours, of course. When do I ever think about myself?] I shall pick the one thats two years old now. Oh no, three. Dont laugh too much. I was walking briskly down the street outside my home, when I heard a sound behind me. I thought it was the sound of this girl, coming out of her house. I'd been waiting to see her come out, you see. I turned my head back to look. And fool as I am, kept walking briskly. And thats when I walked into a lamppost. Everything turned, and stayed, black for five seconds.

The little brown round scar is there on my forehead even now.

2. What is on the walls in your room?

Umm..nothing great as such. A couple of pegs on which have been hanging, since eternity, Pratik's trousers, and the usual hostel issue mirror-mirror on the wall. Thats about it. Four windows.

3. What does your phone look like?

Big and bulky. Navy blue and silver.

4. What music do you listen to?

Is it just me, or does engineering college take everyone back through time? Going back, and traversing the golden age of rock currently. Top favourites include Led Zeppelin, U2, Pink Floyd, Iron Maiden and then just lots of assorted songs.

I survive on staples like Hotel California, All Along The Watchtower, Immigrant Song, One, Nothing Else Matters . There's lots more. But nothing comes to mind right now.

5. What is your current desktop picture?

My usual sources - Calvin & Hobbes, XKCD.

6. What do you want more than anything right now?

*the point where things hit a sombre note. lights dim, a soft mournful piano plays and nothing is heard save heavy, slow breathing and the crackle of the fireplace*

I dont know. Do you understand that?

7. Do you believe in gay marriage?

Sure. Why not? Whatever allows people to be happy without having to bother other people is not a problem with me.

8. What time were you born?

I'm not quite aware how that has anything to do with anything. But all the same, I think it was early morning. Hence the name.

9. Are your parents still together?

Yes.

10. What are you listening to?

The guys chattering behind me. *and just for dramatic effect he adds* The sound of rumbling thunder outside which always gives the hope of rain to come. But alas, none does. The sound of lively voices outside in the hostel, the acoustic concoction of hundreds of life-patterns co-existing. The sound of the fan above, which brings my mind back to simple realities. The pitter patter of my fingers on the laptop keys I always find so receptive. The tenor of all this murmured harmony in the form of the guy who sings Euphoria songs at the top of his vocal abilities while passing down the corridor. Join me in damning him now. Damn you!!

11. Do you get scared of the dark?

Not really. Thats about the time I put on my cape [red and green with "The Magnificent One, Mr. Magnifico to his friends, Sworn Enemy #1 to enemies" emblazoned in yellow] and prance around rattling doors and scaring people.

And yeah, just like for Koyel, I'm reminded of Maiden. Come again, oh glorious 17th of March!

Ahem. I am not scared of the dark. I am only secretly terrified of dim lighting. Dont tell people.

12. The last person to make you cry?

Oh, just someone.

13. What is your favourite perfume/cologne?

For obvious reasons, I shall not name any brands here. Their sales go shooting up and they dont even acknowledge me with a lifetime's free supply. Hmph!

I use deodorant, if you're so interested.

14. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like on the opposite sex?

I want dark, round, liquid eyes. Open hair, slightly curled at the ends. I like the way it frames about an oval face and carefully wraps its beautiful features. I am not particular about the colour of the hair, as long as it isnt white. Those believing they possess above characteristics plus lots of money and no one to spoil with it, pliss to contact moi asap. I might have a solution to our mutual problems.

15. Do you like painkillers?

If it hadnt been for painkillers, I could never have won Max Payne. Other than that, no experience with them. So, dont know.

16. Are you too shy to ask out someone?

No. Just suddenly unusually blabbersome. And incoherent. And very very fidgety.

17. Fave pizza topping?

All the vegetarian! Finally! We have come to more relevant questions! I'd like the one with cheese oozing out of the crust, with all the toppings layered onto it. And oregano. And ketchup. And a coke with that. And I do get the free garlic bread, dont I? Yes yes, with the jhinchak dip. Thank you. That will be all. For now.

18. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

*laughs lightly* Come now. Immediately after a question on my fave pizza topping? What do you think? I'd just like my order delivered fast. I'm counting the minutes.

19. Who was the last person you made mad?

Hmm...Oh ya. I went into this guy's sterilized room with sneakers on. He was...whats that awesome word?...with rage and red-faced anger.

20. Is anyone in love with you?

Err..Umm..*blushes deeply and runs out of the room*

"Ha ha!", goes the ever-present undying grandfather impersonate, twirling one end of his big white moustache whilst maintaining superior grin on face, "See? Even with influx of modern attitude-shattitude and those horrible low-waist jeans into mainstream Indian culture, our boys have not forgotten their parampara and stuff. Even now, when they're shy for no damn reason whatsoever, they blush and run off like little girls. Ha ha!"

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And I would tag, if they should accede to a request such as this from a humble little nobody such as myself, the following: The Dhruv; Dr. Flaff; Alias Rimi; Whose Name Doesnt Matter and *diabolical grin* everyone who has read this and laughed even once. Tag! You're it!

PS: Ooh ooh! Apoplectic! Thats the word! The guy was apoplectic with rage and etc.

Singing FiftyFiver

A chirpy, smiling little 55er. Anyone listens to The Beatles?

Loss. Bitter, Horrible, Painful.

Down it fell. First flying up into the air, the slip of my fingers providing tangential acceleration. I watched it rise, out of my hands. My shocked eyes followed its upward trajectory. It reached its peak, stopping in mid-air for a moment of weightlessness, then began its descent. Down it fell. It fell faster and faster, into the void below, traversing in black slow-motion through the myriad layers of the atmosphere.

After an eternity, a silent scream escaped my lips. I didnt even react otherwise. Not fast enough to reach it. To save it from doom. To save myself. I couldnt even reach my hands out. I screamed silently. It landed. It landed, and rolled a few inches and then stood still. Its fluorescent green body unscarred, illuminous in the light, it looked up at me, knowing well enough that it was now safe from me. No one, after all, eats fallen candy. Even if its a Mentos.

*leans back in his armchair, and looks at the fire, a light shining in his eyes, reminiscing over a profound memory*

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was an hour ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. I'm sitting in class, waiting for something to happen and otherwise disturb the equilibrium of monotonous classes. My neighbour offered me this Mentos. My face breaking into a smile of oh joy is me!, I accepted it with trembling eager hands and began to open the wrapper.

It wouldnt. I blame this to my being in class at the time. Were I outside somewhere, you and I both know I would have quietly and efficiently dealt with this matter of mild insubordination. But classrooms sap my powers. Also my hands were under the desk, so didnt have the right torque acting for me you know. And I, experienced veteran of a billion plus species of toffee and candy, sat there and struggled with a regular mentos.

Exasperation grew. Tension rose. Sweat beaded my honest brow. My fingers ached with the continuous relentless effort. We C&Bs dont give up easy. Not on free toffee! I kept trying. The teacher's voice, mumbling something in favour of compression ignition engines, faded to the background. I concentrated.

Thats when things came about, falling in sequence with the inevitability of a Greek tragedy. I lost concentration. Frustration and disbelief at what was bloody happening here, made me exert that fatal last powerful tug, far above the critical wrapper-tug elastic limit. And it tore open.

It rose up into the air, flying out of the wrapper like a beautiful, tasty, minty, fluorescent green butterfly breaking free of its wrapper-istic chrysalis. My eyes widening in shock and the realization of impending doom, I watched it fall. It fell.

My friend, and his friends sitting beside him, watched in amusement [amusement!?!] and grinned [grinned!?!].

One: He he...Better luck next time.

Another: Ohh! But this one, you know, its so good. You missed out man.

I looked at them as if through a glass, darkly. Their candy-chewing faces were contorted in orgiastic pleasure, like Harsh's every time he sips his ice lime. [Damn. Got to tell you about that some time too. But later, later.]

I looked down again at the candy on the ground, so easily within reach, but yet so utterly lost. Oh! This damned Indian culture thing of not being able to eat fallen foodstuffs, except for that piece of cake that one time long ago!

I looked up again. I looked at him and I said in a cold voice, the voice bitter with loss and the pain of agony stifled in stoicism - I want two next time. Just in case...

People know when not to mess with me. He nodded.

In Pursuit Of Less Confusedness

I hate it. Its fun sometimes. Its blissful sometimes. Its a relief quite often. But then come times like these...

Confusion aint that cool. Neither is being baffled, for that matter. But never mind that, because I'm not kidding here. Its confusing when you dont know how to react. Its confusing when you dont know what is right to say. It confuses me when I look inside me for what I want to say, and I draw up a blank. Its confusing me right now when I dont know what views I have. It confuses me when I doubt my friends. Its confusing when I dont show if I should be loyal and have faith in them, or wait for better cleaner judgment. Its confusing because I dont know who to talk to. It confuses me because I'm not repulsed, though I'd always thought I would be. I'm confused. I'm quite comprehensively baffled.

I dont know if I'm angry. Or if I'm shocked into silence. I dont know if I'm really okay, or is it just an automatic, now reflexive, warding mechanism. I dont know how concerned I am. I dont know if thats because I'm cold, or because I dont mind. I dont know if I should mind, and sometimes I wonder if its my place to mind. Even if it is, what should I do? I dont know what I should do. I dont know if there's anything now to be done. Its all past. I dont know if its all past, or there's things I dont know about. I will learn later. I dont really know if I want to learn later.

I dont know what my idea of great friendship is. I'm confused about whether I live upto it. I wonder how many people I've chased away, how many I've pushed away and how many just thought I was great as long as from a distance. I dont know how many friends more I shall make. I mean real friends. I dont know if I'm a real friend to many anymore. I dont know whats changed about me. I know only something has. I dont know if its wrong, really. I'm confused, thanks to the mixed opinions I get.

I dont know how to structure my mind. Its a maze growing only larger and more confusing. I've lost the map to it. The fragment that remains ...*sigh*... is only just a fragment.

Its confusing because its not about me, any of this. Its a friend, whom I'm bothered to hell about. I dont know if I really need to be.

I'm a bit of a confused mess right now in my head.

*wonders if they can notice that in their awestruck joy at just seeing a new post here in the shrine*

(sigh) And I guess this self-mockery wont ever go away. But whatever. I shall just publish.

Beatles Magic

Words are flying out like
endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
are drifting thorough my open mind
Possessing and caressing me

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Images of broken light which
dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a
restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as
they make their way across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Sounds of laughter shades of life
are ringing through my open ears
exciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which
shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Jai guru deva
Jai guru deva

- The Beatles.

Tchah. Couldnt think of anything to write. So this way I dont really write anything, but still give you something to ponder over. Mull it over in your head. Try and listen to the song as well.

A is A

I completed Atlas Shrugged. I wonder what I would like to read now...

Vacuum

Apathy. Denial. Shrugged-off acceptance. Laughed-off justifications. We dont need no education!

It surrounded him. Why were they like this? Why did nothing interest them? Motivate them? Spur them? How could they always just be like this?

In front of them, the unconcerned lecturer went on spouting his theories to whoever listened. Also apathetic. Just differently.

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[Also published as my 55er on FiftyFiveFun]

When I Find Myself In Times Of Whaat to dooo??

I'd like to think you're bored. Not in general, but because I haven't posted, or posted anything great, in a bit of a while.

But what do I do?, I ask. They keep throwing these sessionals at us, requiring diligent study and what not, if one intends to do as well as one intends. So one studies. And so, one finds oneself unable to post as much.

But provide one must, musn't one? One cannot totally forsake one's people1 in the face of minor obstacles of life, like sessionals.

So this is what one does. One goes and does that what has been plaguing him since early childhood. The question that has made squirm since his early days of infancy, circa the time he began to read papers. What the f*** do those damn clues mean? Not that one used such terminology in one's early years, but surely you understand.

I've had a fun time at it myself, and I think you can enjoy it too. Go to wikipedia and read up on solving cryptic crosswords. Then search a website on google which offers free puzzles for you to do. Then, and here's the tricky part, try to do them. Its fun fun fun! *waves arms about excitedly, as you would know if you've ever met him*

Dont be lazy now. I'll do the groundwork for you too. Here, go read it up. And here, go solve these. And see the little comment box for this post? Put up the bestest ones there. We'll do 'em together.


1 - Notice the Moses complex this time? Something must be done, feels my alter ego. But what?

The Blues

Hmm...Pchh. Never mind. Good night.

A Month To Our Name. Happy April.

Last year, about this time (plus another day back), I'd found myself sick and tired of hearing how smart, intelligent and growingly intellectual the human race had become. And there was so much to keep reminding me too. The 2oth century's marvellous advancements in the fields of literature, art, music, technology and this and that. How greatly mankind has progressed! How smart we are! Yay to us! Lets hold hands and do jigs!

And I got a bit sick and tired of this. Surely the world hadnt run out of fools? Surely there were still foolish dunderheads in sufficiently large quantities to make things easier and to satisfy the unreasonably vehemently demanded rights to mockery held by people of medium to almost really smart but not quite there intellect, such as myself. And you. Yup, you. [Hmm...its interesting how you actually didnt expect me to drag you down in this. Huh? What? Oh? You did no such thing? Whats that? Im unnecessarily, and whats worse, incorrectly, assuming foreknowledge of the psyche of my readers so as to later be able to impress them with my grasp over their minds so that they acknowledge this intellectual superiority of mine and one more person falls down to my rights of mockery and demeaning cynicism, not to mention this fantastic ability to prolong a sentence and make a whole paragraph out of something completely irrelevant to the topic? Hmm...Anyway.]

Coming back to my point, to commemorate last year's All Fools' Day, I went online and found me a most satisfying link. Fortunately, unlike last year, there are now more than 2 active readers to this blog, so the link will not go utterly wasted. And I've decided to add another, a most outrageous another.

Read them. 1 and 2. Laugh lightly, enjoy yourself, share them with friends and/or [if you are smart and conceited enough] use them as original forwards created by yourself, and email 'em around quickly. But also, ponder. Over what do we ponder, wise one - you ask? This, I say *and he points to the right*. Smart? We're as stupid as stupid can be. Both the foolers and the foolees. Err...fools.