Saturday, December 18, 2010


Not that I would. Oh no! Never! Just sometimes, I wish something would happen. I can't explain it. I guess it's just that idle mind, devil's workshop thing we're not supposed to do.

I really need to keep myself busy.

Now, you should understand it's no big deal. I'm as peace-loving and God-fearing a woman as any other, and...Oh, let me just run and take the pressure cooker off, one minute. It whistles so loudly, it could burst!

I'm sorry about that. There's so much work around the house these days. It just never seems to end. Waking him up, cooking breakfast, helping him with his office briefcase...

Oh. Well. It wasn't always like this. I wasn't always like this. I guess it's just age. My face looks tired, doesn't it? Ha is just all this morning strain. I haven't had much time to eat yet. Once I have a bath, I'll be just fine. You'll see! Ha ha ha!

No, really. The boys at the office used to check me out too, you know. I saw them stare, sometimes when I walked past. Their conversations would stop abruptly and they would start brushing their hair, or looking at their watches. We can tell these things! Oh, but I enjoyed it. How long ago was it now, I wonder. One,, only about 8 months it's been, yes. That's right. Eight full months since I quit the office.

What's that? Oh yes, that's close to when we got married too. We've been together 10 months now. What a wonderful day that was, I still remember! I remember him holding my hand at the ceremony while I just cried and cried! Ha ha! I really cried very hard!

And then all the office colleagues were there for us, the first real office relationship that had 'clicked', so to say. 

No, he didn't exactly ask me to quit. He wouldn't do that, he's so timid! Things just come up, you know. Life is like that. All these household chores, they just take a lot of time! He had said, of course, how it felt strange to have a wife working at the same office as the husband. He didn't really mind, it was just what everyone said. The guys hadn't stopped checking me out either. They just didn't include him in their "sessions". Well, all this did irk him a bit.

But he's so sweet when he's jealous! It's know, I feel like I lost ... something. It's very wrong of me to think like this, but every time I see him return home from work in the evenings, something seems to bite me. I feel a jealousy inside me, I don't know why!

I used to have all that but then, of course, that's not practical any longer. You know how things are! His mother complains. My parents also prefer it this way. I get to wear their favourite saris and salwar suits now. Not that I mind. It's the weight gain that I do mind, but that's another story now, isn't it?

I just can't watch him when he comes back. Maybe I hate his tiredness. I hate his stories of what happened in the workplace. Sometimes... Sometimes I feel I could just choke him. For what he's done to me. He hasn't actually! It happens. Not that it's his fault! And not that I would. Never! But, it's just...

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