Thursday, May 04, 2006

One Night Stands & Copycatwoman - India Glorious

Now this is the limit. How far can we Indians go in our attempts to ape Western traditions? Things that Americans and the English used to do till some time back, are now being copied by Indians living in America and England too. It seems Indians have acquired a penchant for coming into global news for all the wrong reasons.

First Kaavya Viswanathan got drunk, got wild, and copy-catted every book she could find. (That almost...almost...rhymed, I think. Read it again and see.) Now that uski chori pakdi gayi she's blushing around and apologising to a new plagiarised author everyday (Salman Rushdie the latest victim). Her money is gone, her future books will not be published, and her life is kaput. The kind of blatant chori-chapaati she's done, she should be thrown out of Harvard and slapped with a lawsuit. Or atleast slapped, I say.

First she didnt even bother to respond to the allegations of copycatism. She, sometime later, denied them by sms. Then, when the cloud of hatred grew larger, she issued the crappiest and most senseless apology in human plagiarism history. She had read those plagiarised books in question, and having liked them so much, had unintentionally "internalised" the words. In 40 entire passages.

Isko to jhooth bolna bhi nahi aata! Even I could have done better than that! Umm, come to think of it I couldn't have. But then again, I wouldnt have copied so poorly also. I, like most proud Indians, have plenty of experience of copying from the guy in the adjacent seat in examinations over the years and I copy quite well. I embrace the other person's words and twist them around to create my own. Idiot girl, she's probably only ever studied abroad and answered multiple choice tickmark questions. Cant even copy properly. American education is useless. Anyway, not the point. She's screwed herself pretty badly now. She's said that, for her future books, she will have them specially checked for a repeat of this episode. Her future books, I can guarantee, will not be copies of other books. This for the simple reason that she will probably not have any future books. Her 2-book deal with the publishers has been officially cancelled and all copies of "How Opal Mehta..." have been pulled out of bookstores.

She is still, however, peanuts besides this next new sensational story. Atleast Kaavya wrote parts of her book herself. Despite all the help she had from book packagers and her library card, she still had to put it all together and write up a preface and things. This latest Indian in global news and ridicule, however, is just amazing. Its a tale of perseverance, obsession, love, passion, and an extreme case of lack in life. In case you want to read the prim and proper version of it, check out The Telegraph's report on it. Otherwise you can also read on.

The thing began in London in July 2001. Anita Debnath, the Indian in the spotlight, got lucky and had a one-night stand with this guy Chay Ankers. Poor guy, he did not know the hidden weapons she had in her armory. I dont mean any kind of kinky sex ritual. I mean that he promptly forgot her after that, and went on with life. But she, to his ignorance, was a Computer Science graduate and had two two Masters degrees! Boy, does she use them now. Ankers did not respond positively to her calls or invitations to shady motel rooms. So she sent him an email next Valentine's Day claiming to have acquired chlamydia (a sexually transmitted disease) from him. The guy got a med-checkup and found himself clean. He told her so, asking her to f*** off, like every self-respecting Britisher, faced with a mutinous Indian, has been doing for hundreds of years.

This is where the Fatal Attraction part of it kicks in. She started stalking him. She uses the help of some web-forum which specialises in milking money out of losers like her, and drew out a campaign to capture him. Ankers had moved out of town, to start a fresh new life with a fresh new girlfriend. So, she moved to that place too. She started going to the same pub as him, sent jhooth-mooth ka letters to the girlfriend and hacked into his email account. Hmmm, you want to know why she hacked into his email account? All she did was subscribe him for gay porn. So that she could scare off the girlfriend. She found out about all his vacation plans from the email id too. She even bloody set up a website, chayisgay.com, to achieve God knows what.

Now this is ridiculous. After just a one night stand, she stalked him for 5 years! She stalked him at work, at home, on vacations - everywhere. Like a leopard with its prey in sight, or like Michael Jackson with a kid in his Neverland ranch, she wouldnt give up once she had him in her sight.

But just like Kaavya, nothing all that serious is happening to her either. She's not going to jail or anything. The judges in that place bother to think of redemption-istic punishments, instead of plain and simple kaid-e-baamushakkad/jailtime (from all the Hindi movies I've seen). She's going to get treatment for her "acute mental state". Slap her too, please.

5 comments:

No am not John Keats said...

i read the anita debnath article in the telegraph...wierd stuff ppl do these days.i mean technology n internet has an entire new application...stalking and torture.n the way it was implemented by her...genius.only if she used her brain lik this on the night of the one night stand ;)

Rags raves said...

See frankly speaking we shudnt-being INDIANS- bother much about copying. I mean cmon wid people like anu malik n shahid kapur bcoming celebs in our country we have but ourselves 2 blame.
Cmon all the students in examinations, the politicians, the orators.....i mean isnt quoting sm1 famous jst glorified cheating.
If you are famous enough to make public speeches n are popular enough to be heard by an audience of more than 5-of there own accord-make up your own quotes.....
Back 2 those persecuted in the U.S n U.K...we shud be proud that they hav carried on our age old traditions in foreign lands.After all its what their ancestors did living in india and it is they who hav carried the torch forward into more developed lands with courage n determination...certainly i put their efforts of getting India glory above that of sania mirza...and why forget that their furure generations will be carrying on the same in better in a more sophisticated manner having learnt from the mistakes of their parents..as we in India are so proud of doing.
All said im not too miffed at them having lifted smthing from the english....the english themselves helped themselves to quite enough from India to raise such a hue n cry over a few paragraphs..(n those of the U.S are also descended from english stock mind you.)About time someone took revenge...
As for the stalker...she too should be regarded as a role model.....how many women are stalkers tell me...these days women want 2 do everything men can do and with sm obvios exceptions they are becoming better at things that men do...so why not try to bring the same attitude n equality 2 the passtime of stalking...which is at least more exciting and adventurous than golfing or philately which those who hav too much time n money(and weight) take to....Adventure n risk is the spice of life....Go Anita...!!!!

Rishabh said...

plagiarists make me sick...I cant believe ppl like kaavya get into harvard...after getting a 1.5 million dollar or sumthing advance, if she thought she cud get away after copying 40 paras...gives hope to good-for-nothings like me-harvard is probably not that difficult to get into.

the fuss abt. anita is ununderstandable...the way i see it there have go to be psychos and cranks like her....newspapers get something spicy to write abt. and hollywood get an opportunity to add screen saying "based on a real story".After all, each person is unique(just like evrybody else!!).

Atims said...

It was a $500,000 advance not a $1.5 million advance...but I agree, how did she make it into Harvard?

tsk tsk.

Porl said...

Read the news today.
BBC NEWS | England | Leicestershire | One night stand stalker is jailed