The Longest Year Ends

The year is ending. Common conceptions require us to start afresh. Begin anew and learn from the misdeeds, the pain and the failures of the past twelve months. Be thankful for your joys and resolve to be a better person next year. I wonder what I have learned this year. What joys and what resolutions?

I am thankful for having a best friend when I needed her (and this role was essayed by two different people in different times of the year).

I am glad I started this blog.

I regret that I inflicted my own needs on those I should have thought of first.

I am glad I chose my career.

I am thankful for having so many friends who care.

I regret holding on when I should have let go.

I am glad for Pink Floyd. And Hotel California.

I am glad I read The Fountainhead.

I have realized that all things change.

There are several ways I could look back on the past year. But I don’t really understand what to make of it. I have learned so much that I don’t appreciate or comprehend.

I’ll sit alone tonight. I’ll think about this and ponder over other things. Have I been wrong all this time? I think too much, I dream too much. I have been sourly cynical, and then irrationally romantic. I want things to be simple, even if sad. There’s a lot to be sad for and a lot to celebrate. What I dislike most is not knowing whether to be happy or sad. I don’t like this confusion.

Its been such a long year. I’m tired.