Ok. Help is needed. Am in urgent (and that means very urgent) need of a time-stopping device. Nothing with too many frills attached. And I dont really care about the color, either. Just a user-friendly and efficient time-stopping device in good working order. So...who has a spare? Seriously, I need.
You see, I need to stop time. Right now. I need for the present to just about completely halt in its tracks. Then, since I do not intend to inconvenience you guys too much, I shall proceed to construct my own time-backward-goer-thingy. And then, I shall go back in time with it. And then, I shall stay there. And I probably wont be back for a long long time.
I know you want to know why, and you're just too much in the shocked-and-overwhelmed state of mind because I said I'm leaving, so I'll let you in. Uff and no, this is certainly not the time to point that I have an ego the size of Saturn. We're in a crisis situation, and you're my people.
Listen up, people. But look, dont tell anyone. Keep it to yourself, and breathe not a careless word outside. The slightest whiff and it could lead to catastrophe. Do not tell anyone about this. No one need know, and no one need even suspect the existence of such a thing. It has nothing to do with anything of course, but useless trivia has a way of affecting the way of things. But what in bloody hell, you ask? See, its this.
In a couple of days, a certain person of our acquaintance (i.e. me) shall have an age thrust upon him, which entirely suits him not. It is unfair for this to happen, and most definitely far too soon. It is simply unacceptable, and an absolute travesty. Also, a horrible misdeed, a gross misdecision, and terribly erroneous judgment. We are still young, and we are still bubbly and we delude in the imagination that we are still innocent. We like to frolic in lawns and chase after rabbits. We like to make faces at and pretend to communicate with snakes at the zoo. We like to believe in Peter Pan. Which is why, we most certainly do not deserve to have to turn 20.
There. Now, you know. As mentioned above, help and pitching in is urgently required. Provide time-stopping device at earliest, before its too late. Meanwhile, I shall pray for Tinkerbell to arrive. Neverland might just do the trick. In case that works out, its tra la for good, folks. In case it doesnt, I vow to crusade to never grow up. Long and deliberate pondering has led to the conclusion that adulthood is a mantle best suited for dead people and for people who can pick Paulo Coelho over PG Wodehouse. There is still, we find, too much to be young for. Give it to other eager people, who see not the folly afoot. I will not go. For there are still childish things to speak of, and fancies to indulge, chocolates to drool on, lawns to skip lightly across, and things to shrug away. I dont want to be a grown up. I wish only to stay as now, and laugh at them and their things.
PS: Since you must know, no one, and I mean no one, is to wish me a happy 20th. It is not the 20th. It is merely the 1st anniversary of my 19th birthday. Period.