Sunday, September 09, 2007

Give! Now! Need!

Ok. Help is needed. Am in urgent (and that means very urgent) need of a time-stopping device. Nothing with too many frills attached. And I dont really care about the color, either. Just a user-friendly and efficient time-stopping device in good working order. So...who has a spare? Seriously, I need.

You see, I need to stop time. Right now. I need for the present to just about completely halt in its tracks. Then, since I do not intend to inconvenience you guys too much, I shall proceed to construct my own time-backward-goer-thingy. And then, I shall go back in time with it. And then, I shall stay there. And I probably wont be back for a long long time.

I know you want to know why, and you're just too much in the shocked-and-overwhelmed state of mind because I said I'm leaving, so I'll let you in. Uff and no, this is certainly not the time to point that I have an ego the size of Saturn. We're in a crisis situation, and you're my people.

Listen up, people. But look, dont tell anyone. Keep it to yourself, and breathe not a careless word outside. The slightest whiff and it could lead to catastrophe. Do not tell anyone about this. No one need know, and no one need even suspect the existence of such a thing. It has nothing to do with anything of course, but useless trivia has a way of affecting the way of things. But what in bloody hell, you ask? See, its this.

In a couple of days, a certain person of our acquaintance (i.e. me) shall have an age thrust upon him, which entirely suits him not. It is unfair for this to happen, and most definitely far too soon. It is simply unacceptable, and an absolute travesty. Also, a horrible misdeed, a gross misdecision, and terribly erroneous judgment. We are still young, and we are still bubbly and we delude in the imagination that we are still innocent. We like to frolic in lawns and chase after rabbits. We like to make faces at and pretend to communicate with snakes at the zoo. We like to believe in Peter Pan. Which is why, we most certainly do not deserve to have to turn 20.

There. Now, you know. As mentioned above, help and pitching in is urgently required. Provide time-stopping device at earliest, before its too late. Meanwhile, I shall pray for Tinkerbell to arrive. Neverland might just do the trick. In case that works out, its tra la for good, folks. In case it doesnt, I vow to crusade to never grow up. Long and deliberate pondering has led to the conclusion that adulthood is a mantle best suited for dead people and for people who can pick Paulo Coelho over PG Wodehouse. There is still, we find, too much to be young for. Give it to other eager people, who see not the folly afoot. I will not go. For there are still childish things to speak of, and fancies to indulge, chocolates to drool on, lawns to skip lightly across, and things to shrug away. I dont want to be a grown up. I wish only to stay as now, and laugh at them and their things.

PS: Since you must know, no one, and I mean no one, is to wish me a happy 20th. It is not the 20th. It is merely the 1st anniversary of my 19th birthday. Period.


ami said...

No one, and I mean no one could be stupid enough to accuse you of being twenty. And i felt the same way when I turned fifteen :(
Though I quite liked seventeen and eighteen. I haven't decide about nineteen yet ;) When's the first anniversary of your nineteenth birthday??

sporadicblogger said...

20 is good :D

Oh,and Maiden coming again in 2008. You up for it? Hehe

sporadicblogger said...

ami- How the HELL do you italicise?? :( I've tried...and failed miserably.

ami said...

< i > at the beginning, and < /i > at the end. Minus the blanks, of course :)

anju christine said...

child, u sound as petrified as me! i guess every1s worst phase is the 20th... then u realise that nothin ever changes with silly numbering of days and u continue to live on like yesterday... u shall remain a child till u chose to grow up :)

Confused & Baffled said...

@ami: thanks yous very much. the 1st anniversary passed away on 11th. dont shriek coz its 9/11. i repeat, i didnt have anything to do with it, and it wasnt a grand present from uncle laden either.

@koyel: always up for maiden. you dont know how to italicize???

@anju: you know, the days are kinda just like before. and my limbs and joints dont ache and creak like i expected them to either.

ami said...

Yes, Nimmy told me :) And also how you were 'not in a condition to answer the phone' ?? Lol. Bam bam !! Brutal, your friends ? ;)

ami said...

Oh, and belated happy first year anniversary of your nineteenth birthday. Phew. Thats was a mouthful :D

smita said...

seeing how i don't know any math and going by the universal fact that zero amounts to nothing,we shall say u've turned 2!happy 2!lol