Wednesday, August 20, 2008


Rubbing his eyes, he wakes up slowly. His arms ache and his back hurts, like they always do whenever he does anything. Which is exactly why he doesnt't want to do anything! Ever! But would they listen? No! Get up, they say. Go to school, they say. Pay attention. Do your homework. Get away from that TV, how dare you!


Strange this life, he thinks. No doubt things will get simpler and rosier as time passes on and he grows up. But for now, nothing seems to quite work. Does it?

Getting up is such a pain!

There's just the one bright spot in the entire worthless exercise, and he prays it works right now. It's a better wake-up than coffee even. Or milk! Ugh!

Eyes brightening through the resistance of morning sand, he lifts his right index finger and gazes upon it. Like King Arthur himself must have gazed upon his sword every morning. Excalibur, that is.

Examining the tip of the nail for sharpness and exercising all relevant joints for agility, he shoves it into his right nostril. Turning it this way and then that, he maneouvres expertly, feeling for his prize. For extra yield. A dash here and an inspired strike there later, his finger climbs out with its rich hoard.

Mouth dropping open in wonder, he stares upon the golden yellow matter poised grandly on the tip of his index finger. It shines in the morning light, it does! He looks at it closely, this natural produce of his own. There is a certain translucency in its body - the golden yellow blending with light yellow in some parts and turning distinctly brown at the edges. The center of it is so distinctly translucent! Tenderly he reaches a left index finger, to poke it gently. Very gently, because he doesn't want to disturb the texture.

It's soft. The surface has a certain amount of "give", so to say, when he presses down on it. Nice and soft. The piece itself is round, or almost spherical. The bottom surface is flattened since it rests on his index tip. But the rest of it quite spherical, yes. And extremely large too. It's a Kohinoor, he would have said, had he but known of the famed diamond.

He does not care to understand what fixates him so much to these things. Everyone says they're gross. But why? Doesn't he produce it himself with his own nose? Do they not keep him so preoccupied while he sits on the toilet every day? Why should he hate it?

He looks at it from all sides. It's so...not beautiful, no...but so mysterious. What is it made of? How is it made? What is that golden yellow stuff? Will he ever run out of them? Will he? He really doesn't want to. But if he does?

What then? The very idea is too outrageous to contemplate! It just won't do.

He looks at it from all sides, as if choosing one over the other. But he realizes it's a tough task with no real grounds for selection. So he surrenders. And pops it right into his mouth. A slight chew, feeling for the gumminess between his teeth, and he swallows.

There. Now he won't run out. Ever.


ami said...

You know. There was a boy in my class in kindergarten who always used to do that? use his nose gum. Eeeww. :D Fascinatingly so :) ;)

ami said...

Eat* his nose gum :)

smita said...

ewwww! you've succeeded!

Confused & Baffled said...

ok. so. err. that's NOT about me.

i do not like such accusations!

just so we're clear.

kyra said...


at the comments, i.e.

Confused & Baffled said...

@kyra: why so? do you not find the tale itself amusing? eh? eh?

Anonymous said...

*Nimmy Chako! How're you doing?

kyra said...


far from it.

Confused & Baffled said...

@unsung: not that i usually ask for such validation, or indeed would suggest that this is one very important source for it, i would have appreciated a hi as well.


hey, wanderer. i see you've roamed in. make yourself comfortable. dont spill on the cushions.

Me said...
This comment has been removed by the author.