Sunday, September 13, 2009

The [insert num] Rules To [insert good quality]

The path to inner happiness lies in being happy with your own self and making everyone around you happy too. He who is selfish and cruel to others will never find contentment. He who takes the last slice of cake will forever be plagued by indigestion.

The joy of living is in bringing smiles to the faces of your friends and family. Spread joy. Spread sweet happiness. Wake up with a smile. Eat dinner with your family. Don’t waste too much time watching television. Brush your teeth twice a day.

Be selective with your friends as you are with your clothes. Do not allow every wayfarer into your life. They will only bring sadness. True happiness lies in having a close knit circle of understanding friends. Remember to trust them and to show them your love and respect for them. Never be afraid to tell them how you feel. Massage their feet and lick their fingers.

Read the works of fine authors such as Paulo Coelho and Shiv Khera. The essentials rules of successfully running your life are contained in their beautiful masterpieces. Do not worry if life hands you the shortest straw. It only means that God has something special planned for you! Self help books sell millions and millions of copies. Every second person in the world should be giddy with joy and contentment. “Self-help book” is an oxymoron.

Work honestly. Come back home to a loving family. Give your best to your boss and give all your love to your spouse and your beautiful children. Understand their problems and play with them. Be silly with them, make faces at them and be a part of their lives. Your life will overflow with mirth and hours spent in warm sunshine. The laughter of children is the purest, most unadulterated happiness in the world. Try the same with your boss. A new job is life’s way of asking you to refresh yourself.

Follow the 7 stars to success, or the 8 rules to happiness, or the 63 guidelines to inner peace. You will surely reach your destiny. Remember, God has put someone special in this world just for you. Remember, God loves you. Remember, man too is capable of loving and living joyously if he thinks from his heart more often.

Pass this to 20 people and God will answer all your wishes. He’s been bored lately and is looking for weird kinky things to do with his time. Hence, me. Hence, this. Pass this to 20 people or mad monkeys will come and steal your genitals and scratch your face.

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