Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Pups! Cute Little Pups! Arghh!

I've been noticing my statcounter.

Every single day. Sometimes twice a day. Even thrice, last Sunday.

I am not pleased.

I've been thinking all this while (since I installed it). What should I do to make it tick? What should I do to make it tick faster?

My ingenious, superbly constructed mind and fantastic intellect conjured several methods and means. Coercion, persuasion, blackmail, and relentless (bordering on desperation) publicity - but even that didnt get me more viewers.

I thought harder. Begging, pleading with hands folded in front of the statistics icon. Silent tears running down grizzled, unshaved Devdas facial hair, as I see the blurry vision of the unchanging, unyielding static number on the icon. No miracle happened.

I thought again. And I know now what to do. It repulses me, to sink so low. But I cannot deny that its so obviously going to work. *sigh* So here I go. Observe, eye keenly everyday, drool over, awww at, and otherwise embarrass yourselves at the new Pup panel (a new one every day!! yay!) *shudders from the depths of his soul* to your right. Its staying until I garner some more backbone.

16 comments:

J's Girlfriend said...

You want more hits? I have a few pieces of advice...

A) Leave comments on other peoples blogs with a direct link to your own. They'll feel obliged at least to look at your blog.

B) Write about stuff that nobody else does; post pictures of local buildings for instance (I'm not kidding, it works!). Provided that you're googlable, people will arrive.

C) Tag your posts descriptively and provide a tag cloud.

D) Write about sex. Especially spanking. People love spanking. Spanking spanking spanking... I guarantee that this mention will mean someone will get to your site by doing a search for spanking...

Best of luck!

Confused & Baffled said...

*shocked shocked eyes, and a mouth dropped open*

awww...my first comment from an amateur porn-star!

@jsgirlfriend: i bet you did it just for hits yourself. shame shame pu...*stops midway* not that you have any really. shoo. scat.

kyra said...

Good grief!
I..I dunno what to say...
um...maybe i'll just go lie down for a while..excuse me.

Googly said...

I too suffer deep agonies when I see my statcountdaily. I tell you what. Lets indulge in some self-aggrandisement. You toot my blog and I'll toot yours ;)
LOL.

Jayashree Bhat said...

Take it off, you idiot, it's horrible.
You write well enough to get visitors without this stupid thing.

Revealed said...

We bow to your wisdom, o wizardly hero, but we beg of u (beg i tell u) to remove this ghastly eyesore. Come, let us stand strong together, shoulder to shoulder! Writing pointless chocolate reviews :D. That's the good life i say ;). We don't need pu- (no I can't even get myself to say the words). I too retire to have a lie down. My ageing system cannot handle these shocks!

Revealed said...

And J's gf, leave this boy alone!!! *shudders at the blatant corruption of young minds in today's world*

anju christine said...

i really don c d pt of ur desperation........... ur blog is u,..... its lik sayin u live for others... i live for myself, to hell wid pleasin others if u cant please urself...............f u realy want ppl to read n dats d only reason u write, den u should write for a mewspaper or a magazine or some kinda online website o somethin.....my blog is for me,...i don care f u lik it, if u read it, f ur bored readin it,....... its expression irrespective of the reader

wiseling said...

i suggest giving out free chocolate bars. preferably dark.
but if that proves to be too much work, like the wise revealed says, just join us in writing chocolate reviews... :)
and if you don't like chocolate, phooey to you!

oh, and please take the puppies off! it's rather... uhh.... okay, i should shutup.

Simran said...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Confused & Baffled said...

apologies for the much delayed status of posts. i have decent enough alibi. you shall have it soon enough in a few hours. im tired now. so wont tell you. toodle-oo.

oh. and all your queries and beseechings have been answered. the pups are coming off.

wiseling said...

send me your email add so i can invite you the the 55 blog :)

Revealed said...

Yayyyyyyy! Down with the pups!!
(yikes! I sound positively inhuman!)

Dhruv said...

Most Positively Pathetically Desperate Nishant Jain.
You disgust me.

smita said...

i agree wid anju..ur blog is ur own..don't care bout the no. of readers.and im glad u took the pups off!they were giving my dog a complex!!lol

smita said...

i agree wid anju..ur blog is ur own..don't care bout the no. of readers.and im glad u took the pups off!they were giving my dog a complex!!lol