Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Cannons To His Right, Cannons To His Left...

Into the Valley of Death (read: Mall)
Rode Mr.Jain.

I'm a good boy na? I am, I am.

I went shopping today. Now I understand that some of you do not quite grasp the gravity of the situation here. For you. Take a look quick, and I'll wait for you to catch up.

Meanwhile, there are those of you who are better informed. I didnt go shopping for selfish motives of draping myself in cool what-nots and adorning myself with junk stuff. I had to buy a birthday gift for mum. Birthday tomorrow. *waits for the 'awwws' and 'oooh..how sweet!'s*

So I went.

Now what exactly do you buy a mum for her birthday? I'm clueless. I was at City Center now, and roaming like a nomad gawking at the shop windows and entering and exiting Shopper's Stop every 3 minutes. I suppose jewelery and perfumes would be proper gifts.

I shivered towards the jewellery section (it was cold) at Shopper's Stop. I looked at a few shiny shiny things, and pointed at them. The cool-faced person behind the counter coolly said "Rupees 3500 only". Only. I walked away shivering (I was shaken).

Now its really tough choosing from jewelery you know. I never knew the kind of hard work girls put themselves through. How do you know if you want the pink shiny neckthing or the blue shiny neckthing? They look the same to me. And they manage to smile and laugh while they make such tough spot-decisions. Amazing! I stared at a weird bracelet for like 17 minutes before I thought it was too tacky. I went here, I went there. Nothing.

Just rows of attendants looking at me. I guess my appearance, low-waist jeans and shirt pulled out, didn't quite fit me in as the ideal customer in their Jewelery and All-Things-Fine Section. It was then that I saw it. I stopped dead. It seemed perfect. A clear crystal table piece. It was carved like a rose, with a long stem. It shined with the colours of the spectrum, in the light being shown on it. I gazed at it. It was just right. Even the words I would write in the card were coming to me in a flood. I was so happy - possibly the same joy one feels on throwing open the casement window of castles in faery lands forlorn, or what every girl feels no doubt on finding that right thing she's been shopaholicking for. I turned it over to see the price tag. Crap!

Way over the allocated budget. I quietly put it back and stalked off. Darn it! I'll just buy a damn perfume or something. So off I stalked to the perfumes section. The attendant very wholeheartedly showed my 4 or 5 rather attractive looking bottles, before I could make clear that I wanted women's perfume. He continued showing off his vast collection of Hugo and Axe, until I repeated more firmly. Then it must have dawned on him perhaps that I was a man of my words or something, because he finally brought out a set of female perfumes.

Now, here's the thing. How do you, as a guy, test women's perfume? Can I spray it onto myself? Is that okay? Well, I did that. The guy sprayed it onto my wrists. Three or four different types. I didn't like one. Which was a silly conclusion, because now I was walking around giving off the aroma of women's perfume. Three or four distinctly different ones.

It was when I was walking out in finality and with empty hands that I saw a little shop there, with strange looking bags and beads and necklaces and things. I picked a quite neat necklace sort of thing with beads and stuff. Took me all of 5 seconds to decide. I wrapped things up with a card, scribbled into it. And now I'm done. Going to give it at midnight.

I'm a good boy na?


Simran said...

good boys dont come cheap:P:P:P:P

Confused & Baffled said...

no we dont. i think thats a compliment. and such is my eagerness to, so to say, grab 'em while i get 'em that i shall thank you for that. thank you.

anju christine said...

i dunno wat gd boys r made up of......... does one gd deed make a person gd?.... i dunno...

Confused & Baffled said...

the gift has been much appreciated. my parents refuse to believe i could have selected it on my own.

which i did, by the way.

@anju: well. i guess you could be nice and sweet and just say i was.

Dhruv said...

I rather liked your old entry. It put to words my exact sentiments as well.

And next time, try going to a place where they have testers to spray perfume onto.

You and low-waist denims? Ha!
And since you were already so shabbily dressed, you could've afforded to look just slightly more idiotic by spraying some into the space right in front of your face and plunging your head forward to catch a whiff of the scent.

A very happy birthday to your mom on behalf of a friend all the way in Delhi.

Anonymous said...

hey happy bday 2 ur mum or rather belated happy bday 2 her..yes u r a gud boy indeed!!1st a card 2 ur dad all d way 4m manipal n thn a gift 4 ur mum..keep it up!!

Confused & Baffled said...

final consensus? good boy we agree then?

going once..going twice..done! nishant jain = good boy. thank you all. next question --> is me suave and sophisticated? strong and silent? (its kind of the way all heroes are described na..hence)

Dhruv said...

Well, not silent, that's for sure..

Strong? Well, almost as strong as a peanut..

Suave and sophisticated? No Comments.

Anonymous said...

u knw nishant ... i agree that u are a good by.. but putin ppl in a position n askin em abt like stuff like wether u "suave n sofisticated"'9 cough cough sputter sputter) is just askin to much!!!
we all live on hope anyway...
so to quote a song ...
" dream on.. tho its hard to tell
and tho ur foolin urself .. dream on"..

thank u

Googly said...

Hello :) Buying gifts can be so confusing. I understand your predicament. I recently set out to buy my parents an anniversary gift, and being in an alien city with no way of getting around(Kolkata) it was tougher than usual. The centre piece that you described sounds familiar; I think I got my parents something similar, only, from a neighjbourhood curio shop. It was much appreciated too,lol.

Btw, while we're on the topic of buying gifts for the opposite gender(are we??), what do men like? Women are so much asier to shop for,lol.

Confused & Baffled said...

@anonymous: i see...

@googly: much as i might seem a wholesome and comprehensive men's shopping guide (considering iv given 3 posts on it), it's a title im not all that eager to assume.

if you're asking what guys want, my answer is: think. we aren't the typecast gender, which is why we aren't easy to shop for. woman, a tad more materialistic, are thus easier to shop for.

XYZ the One and Only said...

ah, but materialiasm creeps into mankind, in the man kind sense of the word, too, only tis expensive mankind. Gadgets, i'm thinking...
Sigh, it is so much easier to shop for readers.
Oh and I like the way you write.Nice blog!