Sunday, January 28, 2007

My Cat Meow At Me?

Pchh. Tsk. *disappointed shake of head*

India is a highly inefficient nation. You know that, if you've ever dealt with anything remotely related to the government. You know that since you have seen the dirty streets and the indisposed garbage.

But most of you dont know why it is so. We blame the government for our failures and we blame politicians for their corruption and we blame dogs for the smell near lampposts and we blame the sun for why we stay irritable and heated up all the time.

Bah, I say. Bah!

That is not where the issues are or where the solution is to be found from. It isnt because of them, or any other people or things. The problem lies in us.

We dont throw garbage in dumps, we dont have economy flush in our toilets to save water, and we dont all pay taxes. We dont usually cheat, but if we think we can get away with it, we are pretty much okay with doing anything. The noblest-minded person would sink to any depths if he believed no one would find out. Shame shame, puppy shame...

The problem lies in us. We are lazy. Unnecessarily lethargic. No wait. Thats not entirely true. You are lazy. You are unnecessarily lethargic. More specifically, the problem lies in you. *points a mighty, quivering finger at you through your monitor, as you pull back your intent eyes in horror and disbelief, that such a thing could actually happen and its not just a pseudo-humorous line to write under asterisks and entitle oneself to feel we're matching Wodehouse in some way, when it actually does occur and you are, as I have already stated above in the same sentence and consciousness-stream, horrified and disbelieving*

Just a simple question it was. Nothing more. Do this for me please, I asked. I offered incentive too. How many times have I asked you for anything huh? The one time that I come to you for help - not much unlike Amitabh Bachchan in which-movie-was-it where he rings mandir ka ghanta and asks God if he's doing alright - it just gets to your head, doesnt it?

Not one realistic contribution. Thats the problem with us. We just shift the blame on others. And this time I have suffered the brunt of your blows, oh you insufferably lethargic passing-the-parcel-of-the-little-task-of-kindness players!

Dhruv says: ...and I really doubt there's a widely accepted continuation to that bit. And he also insists its donkeys and not doggies.

Revealed & Rimi maintain that its neither doggies nor donkeys. Its monkeys!

Anushka does not recall there being any form of life at all, aside from the puppy in the first line.

We cant find the answer, you feel no doubt. So lets just cast aspersions on the questioner. While we, ridiculous not-to-be-bothered questionees, just claim ignorance of the existence of any answer in the first place. You smile at your mind's quick dismissal of this conundrum demanding exercise from it and type away quickly and inconsiderately at your keyboard.

Tsk tsk.

Hence are we left with no answers. No winning entries.

But the lines exist. And one day they will be found. That I maintain.


Note: went for campus rock idols held here tonight. absolutely blown away by some of the bands. in case its aired on tv sometime, do keep track of this band called public issue. the vocalist was good, the drumming seemed to be done with a firm and knowledgeable hand, and the bass guitarist smiled on and on like a colgate ad. the lead guitarist is heavenly.

20 comments:

anju christine said...

ok, since i cant recollect any of d lines dat follow too, i cooked this up jus 4 u (n i deserve a mighty bow n a thank u 4 dis ok) .....

"shame shame puppy shame,
all d doggies know ur name(note-jus as u wan t-not donkeys, not monkeys)

even if these two lines sound too lame
dont ask me, lil nishant is to blame!!" .....

[wah wah wah follows n now i take a bow] ur welcome ;)

kyra said...

*hugs Anju*

Confused & Baffled said...

@anju: ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. i give you, the winnah!!

your gift certificates should reach you soon. sit tight.

on another note - ahem. lil nishant? i stand in my converse sneakers at 5'11.5"!

anju christine said...

hee hee........ ya, cos im older dan u..... kiddo :P

anju christine said...

N ya, my prize bettr reach me alrite!!!!

Revealed said...

I can do better. This is authentic, lemme add.

Shame shame, puppy shame; All the monkeys (cos that *is* the correct word) know your name,

If you *something* let it rain, otherwise just come again.

And i *swear* this is how I remember it. Hehehe.

Confused & Baffled said...

@revealed: your entry comes in too late. i have already vented my frustration over lack of entries. and come now, that cant even be authentic. its just not good enough.

diana said...

got here through sporadicblogger. reading a few posts at once has given me a slight headache but your writing is fascinating, the title to this post "my cat meow at me" is a translation of "meri billi..."? right? lol. very entertaining.

diana

Revealed said...

@C&b: I'm shattered. But I refuse to give up the authenticity claim! Try and make me [-(

Revealed said...

N the authenticiy is further verified by it's lameness. Hah! *is impressed by her own genius and saunters away whistling (tunelessly)*

anju christine said...

dont u worry ms.revealed.... u dint miss anythin!!........ our dear kanjus blogger here has breached d contract by not deliverin my dues yet..........wat say? do u wanna join me n throw him off d nearest skyscraper? :)

Revealed said...

@anju: I'm in! Time and place :P

Anonymous said...

hey this is nipun nair ..public issue guitarist! thanks for ur appreciation in ur post! and thanks for comin t our show! hoping to see u in pune!! and manipal rocked!!
tnx dude!
nopun nair

anju christine said...

hmmmmmmmm lets not post dat on his blog u know, lest he'l flee by tomo morn....... lol

Confused & Baffled said...

@anju: shush child. forget not im bigger and stronger.

@anju & revealed: conspiracy! out of jealousy and involuntary helpless idol-worship? aaah...come now. dont lie to me.

@nipun: best of luck to you guys. you seriously were awesome.

Simran said...

u have celebrities checkin out ur blog..awsome::P:P:P...i must say...i liked nipuns hair:P:P..haha..well about the irresponsible citizens of india....DAMN YA!!!...india is so pretty...ask me...living in a freakin desert for my entire life...
sim

anju christine said...

ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha ha haa haa ha ha ha ha!!!


my tummy hurts!!now dat, mr, was funny.......:D..... gd joke... keep it up :P

Revealed said...

@Anju: Psst. Meet me outside the haunted house at midnight. Bring a one-legged man and a walking stick. The password is 'Are we still confused and baffled' and I'll reply 'No because we've gotten rid of it'.

@C&b: I echo Anju's sentiments.

anju christine said...

Nishant close ur eyes!!

ya, where were v....err..... weren we supposed to meet at the nearest skyscraper?.... o u meant d haunted skyscraper rite?....lol

Revealed said...

Oh yikes! Yeah I meant the haunted skyscraper. 13th floor, room 666? ;)