Tuesday, May 15, 2007

TOW The Non-Cooperative Shoe Lace

Strange and weird things are happening. Things that have no explicable reason. Things that the world, as we know it, cannot contemplate. Things that are adding, in their own way, a little drop to the ocean of chaos taking us over. These things, they happen slowly. They sneak up on us with minor, subtle changes to our environment gradually over time, so we notice little if we're not vigilant. Then, one bright morning, you find yourself engulfed, hopelessly trapped, suddenly immersed in a quicksand of weird and strange occurrences, of ajeeb-o-gareeb ghatnayein and you wonder how it all began.

It all began I dont have a clue when. But now, I find myself afflicted by this one strange, weird and, what is even stranger and weirder, daily ridiculous occurrence. Let me begin from the beginning of all things. A preamble is a must.

Most people you would happen to speak to in your average day would agree, without hesitation, that when one thinks of efficiency and of efficient, competent, smart, good-looking, charming, brilliantly fantastic and outrageously super young men, one is in effect thinking of C&B*. And even if they dont say so, as many people do so love living their denials, they do agree I'm quite good, quite good. I dont just do things. I do them superlatively. Its like my hands hold magic. Its just basically wonderful and all that, most things about me.

* first instance of reference to self in pseudonymised third person. symptom to malignant growth in the gland of ego. but notices all by himself too. suggests a slight potential to curing himself.

So it came as a great surprise, a few days ago, when walking down the street briskly, I felt a certain loosening of the grip close to my ankles. Upon closer inspection, I discovered, to eyebrow-raising surprise, that one of my shoelaces was undone. Not thinking much of it then, I casually tied it and went on.

Mistake, I see now in retrospect. I slighted it away. It was the weird and strange thing that would keep hitting me in the near future. And here's whats happened. For the past week or so, every single day, after I walk out after having showered and clothed and combed and generally made myself spanking bright, its happens. I walk a couple of hundred odd steps, carefree and joyous, when my foot suddenly nearly slips off my shoe. Every day. Every bloody morning. Now I cant stop it. I could haveAlzheimer's working on me. I'm not vigilant. I forget the past day's events. I forget about the strange (and weird) mystery of the untied shoelace in the morn.

I seek help. What must I do? Should I change the laces? Change the knot? If so, which knot to knot? And which to not knot? Or, for that matter, which not knot to?? *just trying different permutations. never mind*

So, if you think you can be of help. Kindly write in. Or do you have a similar-ish bubble of evil lurking around your life? Ooh. Come come. Lets discuss that. I'm sure its more fun.


Anonymous said...

Maybe you're inadvertently tying a "Granny Knot", and slippery synthetic laces are coming undone?
Try this:

Dhruv said...

The moment I saw those shoes, I knew they were of highly inferior quality. Couldn't cost more than an imported apple.
Surprising that the "efficient, competent, smart, good-looking, charming, brilliantly fantastic and outrageously super" C&B does not afford himself a resilient pair of shoes for his daily use.

Confused & Baffled said...

@anon: woah. nice link! i do tie a granny knot, it seems.

@dhruv: its the wear-n-tear. perhaps its time i purchased a new pair. *sigh*

anju christine said...

o, even i tie the granny knot....in fact thats d only knot i tie apart from the times wen it jus gets tangled up in some weird way n im too lazy to do anythin bout it so..i decide to cal it a knot........ anyway, hmmmm, ur prob seems to b solved..u probably tied d granny knot the wron way n im sure(the way im sure that u dont brush ur teeth well) the bow must pointin from ankle to toe as shown on the link......19 yr ol doesn kno to tie a knot? shame shame :P

Revealed said...

Does staying up till 2 in the morning and not being able to wake up at 6 in the morning count as a similar-ish bubble of evil? It totally snuck up on me!

Confused & Baffled said...

@anju: i do know how to tie a regular knot.

and what do you mean 19 yr old who cant tie knot? haan haan? what about you? *points finger* cant even...cant even write a sentence without 4 full stops! what about that haan? *crosses his hands* bolo bolo?

@revealed: were you a sleepaholic before this? if so, yes yes! it does! you have one too!

Rimi said...

I suggest chappals. Plastic slabs of blue and purple and orange cut in vaguely foot-like shape with thick plastic straps that cut into your skin. There. No chance of them slipping off. Cost effective too. You could, in fact, buy a houseful of them for the price of the latest Apple product and make a small fortune.

Just in case engineering bores that glittering (or so I'm told) mind.

anju christine said...

Grrr, I can write sentences like this.

its jus too borrrrrrrrin... its fun to press this thingie lik dis . n den let it go on n on n on n on lik dis - .....................................................


ami said...

Every post amuses me than the last :)
You should have troubles like these :D
Then you write about 'em :D

Confused & Baffled said...

@rimi: chappals that cut into your skin? i dont like the idea of masochism. although glittering minds have always had to serve such penances for their existence among sub-species.

my roomie does have those kind of slippers. they're super-looking and all, jet black and things poking out at the edge, like its going to shoot missiles. but notoriously sharp and uncomfortable over long distances.

@anju: well....i suppose.....it is a bit fun....hmmm........

nice the way the dots go when you keep the key pressed down.

@ami: and here we finally have someone who has hit the nail on the head. i think it might have been bolted down already, but to see someone sees it. lol. i like to think i can be cryptic.

thanks youz very much. *bow and all that* i endeavour to pick out such things out of life.